As summer of 2019 comes to a close, I have been reminiscing on what this season has brought me. Like the song by Dan and Shay, this was the summer of ’19 You and Me, and it went like this.
How We Met
It all started at the beginning of the summer. We ended our junior year of college and was about to be seniors and be launched into adulthood, but that was a problem to figure out in the future.
I was fed up with the male gender and looking to just have a simple girl’s night out with one of my best friends.
We had the intent of being home at a decent hour and off to bed to prepare for an early morning at work the next day, we set off for what we hoped to be a chill night. We were only going to go to one place and leave no later than 11 p.m.
10:30 rolled around, our glasses were almost empty, and we were mentally preparing ourselves to leave, when a group of guys stroll over and ask us to play corn hole. We were fully prepared to politely decline, when my friend blurts out an enthusiastic “Sure.” She glances at me and I think to myself “Why not?”
We split into teams, each of us with one of the guys. One of them was quick to pick me for his team. We played until the bar closed. Since we have already stayed out this late, we decided to continue our night with the guys. The more we drink and the later it gets, and the more interesting the night becomes.
We started dancing, me with the guy I was playing cornhole with, and Lindsay with his friend. We were swaying our hips to the beat in sync, having the time of our lives and throwing our cares aside. Throughout the night I was carrying my debit card and I.D. in my pants pocket and around 1:00 A.M. I realize that I only have one of those things. My I.D. was gone. I’m in panic mode. The guy I was with calms me down and we all decide to look for it once the lights come on. We continue dancing and every once-in-a-while, drunken kisses were stolen. In my head, all I can think about is how smooth and attractive this guy is .
The bar closed, it is now 2:00 a.m., the lights came on, and we started to look for my I.D. It was nowhere to be found. At this point, I decided to give up and just call in the morning. At this moment, I was too drunk to care and now had to figure out how to get home.
We stood outside, waited for our individual Uber’s that would take us our separate ways. In this time, we exchange Snapchat information and hold each other like we have known each other for years, not the actual four hours that it had been. We eventually parted ways, unsure if we will ever see each other again or if we were just strangers passing in the night.
The Time We Spent Together
We were basically living in the song “19 You + Me” by Dan and Shay. The lyrics go:
Watchin’ that blonde hair swing
To every song, I’d sing
You were California beautiful
I was playin’ everything but cool
I can still hear that sound
Of every wave crashin’ down
Like the tears, we cried
That day we had to leave
It was everything we wanted it to be
The summer of
19 you and me
We would spin around dancing, hair swinging and singing at the top of our lungs and laughing until we couldn’t breathe, falling on the floor in his apartment living room.
Needless to say, we became more than strangers. We talked, went on dates−each one better than the last. Learning about the details of each other’s lives, laughing at dumb jokes and stealing kisses every chance we get.
We wanted to spend every moment possible together. No matter if it was 1:00 p.m. or 1:00 a.m. We always enjoyed each other’s company. Whether it would be grocery shopping or stargazing, we did it all and we didn’t care. We did whatever we could find in this small mountain town, but we didn’t care what it was as long as we were together. His friends became my friends and mine became his and we loved hanging out. All of us together. Whenever we were apart, he was on my mind. Craving his touch and to have his lips on mine. We had our differences and would have our petty arguments, but nothing we couldn’t handle at the end of the day. No matter what it was, we would always be able to kiss and make up. Not only were we attracted to each other and pursuing a relationship, but we were also best friends, and that was one of the best feelings in the world.
I could tell whenever he was stressed or in his head, I knew what he was thinking without him having to say a word. I knew who he truly was and saw past the act that he tries to portray. I saw him on a deeper level and wanted him to know that I was there for him through everything and that he had my support.
He made me feel safe, he made me happy and he made me laugh. He made me feel wanted and seen for who I really am and adored for who I was, no matter my flaws. That is what I had been looking for and to have that was really special.
The Breaking
We were attending different schools in different cities that were two hours away from one another, but that didn’t matter because it was summer, and we were living in the same city. But that doesn’t mean that it was still in the back of our minds−his more than mine.
He was worried about the distance and what would happen when we were apart or how we would handle it. Because of this, he put up walls.
I wanted to focus on the current moment and enjoy the time that we did have together. If we wanted to be together, we would be able to figure it out. We could have spent a great four months together if we didn’t focus too much on the future, and once August rolled around, we could have figured it out.
If he were to just open up and fall, I would be there to catch him. I could have made him feel more loved than anyone… but he didn’t.
I so badly wanted to hold on, but I knew that it was time to let go.
The Lesson
In my dating life in the last few years, I have learned a lot from past relationships, but this one taught me more than any of the others have.
No, we weren’t in love, but I saw the potential for love in sight, and that made me both scared and excited.
With falling in love, you never know if the other person will catch you. You risk getting hurt, and heartbreak is one of the most painful things a person ever has to go through. But once you find love and are loved back, it is one of the most beautiful things ever, and that is what I wanted, that’s what made me excited.
I learned more about myself and how I am strong and independent all on my own, I do not need anyone to complete me, I am complete on my own. But that doesn’t mean I can’t have anyone to compliment me. A partner should challenge you and make you a better version of yourself, and I think he did that.
I learned how I should be treated and that I deserve to be treated like a queen and with respect. I should always be wanted. My man should want to show me off to the world and be proud to have me. I want to know that I am wanted.
Rejection hurts, and it hurts to know that someone does not want to be with you or value you like you want them to, but that just means that the right person is on the way. The right person will love you more than you can ever imagine. That is what I am looking forward to. To be loved so fiercely by somebody and to take on the world with.
I am so thankful for this relationship and experience, for this season of life. I could never be angry or upset or hold a grudge. I wish him the best and I am so sorry we didn’t work, but I hope he finds the girl that makes him beyond happy. He deserves the world.
XOXO
